Breaking the patterns of "high conflict": A conversation with author Amanda Ripley.

Amanda Ripley is an investigative journalist and a New York Times best-selling author. Her most recent book, and the subject of our conversation, is High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out.  In this interview, we take a deep dive into some of her book's main ideas, including:

• Why high conflicts are a lot like the La Brea Tar Pits.
• The four "trip wires" that lead to high conflict, including "the power of the binary."
• Why often the best thing you can do in a conflict is first "get straight in your own head."
• How finding the "understory" of a conflict can be a source of liberation.
• How to creatively break the patterns of high conflict by "stepping out of the dance." 
• What it means and why it's important to appeal to a "transcendent identity."
• And much more (my favorite: Amanda's "food in the fridge" conflict).

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Kern Beare is the founder of the Difficult Conversations Project and the author of Difficult Conversations: The Art and Science of Working Together. He also facilitates a workshop based on his book, which is free for non-profit organizations and community groups.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction
• 9:48 What is "High Conflict"?
• 13:08 Why High Conflict is a lot like the La Brea Tar Pits.
• 18:02 Why everything now is High Conflict.
• 27:24 The four "trip wires" of High Conflict.
• 33:28 Breaking the power of the binary.
• 43:59 The case of the barking dog.
• 50:12 Understanding the "understory."
• 57:32 Whatever your gut tells you to do, do the opposite.
• 1:00:01 The power of humor.
• 1:03:12 Do the unexpected: Advice for the Biden Administration (and the rest of us).