Difficult Conversations, with Kern Beare
Talking to people we disagree with can be fraught with fear and anxiety — triggering our fight/flight survival drive. We fight by arguing to win, or we flee by avoiding the conflict altogether. But to resolve our differences, we need to move beyond this ancient instinct and access our capacity for connection, creativity and compassion.
Join Kern Beare — founder of the Difficult Conversations Project and author of Difficult Conversations: The Art and Science of Working Together — as he explores how we can have conversations that can actually heal divides and change hearts and minds.
For more about Kern and his work, check out his website: www.difficultconversationsproject.org.
Difficult Conversations, with Kern Beare
"It's all about love": Three lessons from crisis intervention expert Joe Smarro on how to de-escalate conflicts.
My latest podcast guest, Joe Smarro — featured in the Emmy award winning HBO documentary, Ernie and Joe: Crisis Cops — taught me something about navigating difficult conversations: It helps to be trained in crisis intervention.
For 15 years Joe was an officer with the San Antonio, Texas police department. The last 11 of those years was with the mental health and crisis intervention unit. His job: de-escalate dangerous confrontations with those suffering from mental health traumas. It’s the kind of confrontation officers face frequently, and that accounts for one in five people killed by the police. Yet in 11 years, Joe never once had to resort to force. His only weapon, he says, was his ability to communicate.
After gaining national attention for his approach to crisis intervention training, Joe left the police force and founded, together with his business partner, Jesse Trevino, Solution Point Plus, where he now delivers his training to law enforcement officers and other first responders around the country.
What got me interested in Joe's work was discovering that the principles underlying his training are exactly what I talk about in my Difficult Conversations book and workshop. I figured he’d have a lot to say about how these principles work in real life, and the positive impact they can have in even the most highly charged situations.
_______________________________
Kern Beare is the founder of the Difficult Conversations Project and the author of Difficult Conversations: The Art and Science of Working Together. He also facilitates a workshop based on his book, which is free for non-profit organizations and community groups.